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Wellington, New Zealand
welcome to my corner of the blog world! i love step, boxing, zumba, scrapbooking, photography, watching movies, walking the hills of my suburb, my family, and life in wellington. take some time to have a look around and be sure to say hi!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

photostory friday: not giving them everything when you can

PhotoStory Friday
Hosted by Cecily and She's a moron and can't remember...

mr scrappy and i come from working class families. both my parents worked semi-skilled jobs. my mum worked to provide the 'extras'. mr scrappy's mum didn't work outside the home on account of the fact that they had 7 kids!

we never had overseas family holidays. we didn't have 'label' clothing. my parents made me pay $4 a week rent when i received $16 a week from my place of study. man, i hated them for that! not now tho!

THAT'S how times have changed. we got PAID to study! now of course there are student loans.

we certainly can't compare how it was for us at the same age, but at the same time, we want our daughters to have the same experiences.

we want them to have to work for everything they have, not because WE had to (our parents couldn't afford to give us lots of 'stuff' even if they wanted to), but because it's the right thing to do (well, we think so!)

do you have any idea how hard it is NOT to give your kids everything when you have the means to?

don't get me wrong - we're totally at peace with our decision - while all around us friends are buying their children their first car, paying their rent, paying for their entire university (college) education etc etc.

having said that, mr scrappy is a BIG SOFTIE.

mr scrappy: "how'd you like to go through life with a big debt hanging over your head?" (referring to student loans)

me: 'it's called a mortgage hun"

mr scrappy: "no! as a teenager!"

me: "meh. they'll live. it's character-building. like digging holes."

so we decided to buy them a macbook each. miss 20 (as a 2nd year design student) has done well to manage without one so far; and miss 18 (who is waiting to hear whether she's been accepted into the same course - ANY DAY NOW!) will make good use of one too.

we had decided not to buy the laptops until AFTER miss 18's end of year exams, but like i said before, someone's a softie...

opening screen - "it's so cool!"
posing for their profile photos
someone had just done a hair toss...

CHEESE!!!
"how about the cute look?"
"ok, i've done mine. need help with yours?"

miss 18 had to go off to a gig about 15 minutes after she got hers, so mr scrappy set about loading it up full of fun programmes!


did i say that university (college) doesn't start up again until late feb?

i expect that until then, it's facebook and youtube all the way

oh, and iphoto and garage thingee or whatever it's called

anyone notice how apple CREEPS into your house?

we now have 4 ipods, 2 iphones and 2 macbooks

how'd that happen?

35 comments:

Sandra said...

Firstly, please pass onto your eldest girl from me that her haircut makes her look stunning!

You are a woman after my own heart. Have been sitting here nodding all the way through reading this post.

I'm the youngest of 7 and hubby is one of 9 and we had the same up bringing you talk about here. While fees were v. low when we were at uni, we did have to pay our own way & support ourselves through without parental financial assistance and it has paid off.

Our 18 year old is off to uni next year and we have told her she can continue to live board free with us, but fees, clothing etc. are her responsibility.

She's been saving a good chunk of her part-time job wages this year to cover next years expenses. She also applied for several scholarships for which we are waiting to here an outcome on. If she's successful in being awarded one then she will be in an even better position finanically and it has all been from her own efforts.

Will get hubby to read our post too so he can stop feeling like such a meanie (some of Miss 18s friends have been bought cars and are having all their fees covered by their parents).

Sandra said...

Oops! Last paragraph should read "to read your post..."

Sass E-mum said...

Recaro will be so proud of you for your assimilation into the Apple tribe.

I love how Miss 20's hair is so swish and Miss 18's is so rock star.

Kat said...

I feel the same way! It is so important for kids to learn how to work for what they want. To be responsible. My dad worked in a factory for over 30 years and my mom stayed home with us 6 kids. Needless to say, we didn't have spare cash. I worked for the clothes I wanted and anything extra. And I am grateful for it. I want my kids to grow up the same way.

Sharlene Meyer said...

Nodding all the way with you Sue! Hubby and I were both brought up the same way and whilst we didn't enjoy it when we were younger, we both certainly see the benefits of it now. However, hubby is also a big softie, and he is also an academic, so thinks we should pay the uni fees when the kids get to that age - thankfully we still have several years of 'discussion time' before we get to that point.

And yep Apple is taking over our place too! LOL

blueviolet said...

That's exactly what we gave our kids as their gifts when they graduated high school!

Angela said...

Since I'm a total geek, nothing excites me like a new laptop! What great shots of them. :-)

mandyb said...

i also agree re the haircut...looks much older...very nice...

as for laptops lucky girls.... my dad is a banker so we learnt to budget from 12 when we started to pay for our own things....we did the while you pay for half...parents pay the other half. Nothing was given to us but allowances were made it $$ was out toward an item. Good for children to know what stuff costs....

as for laptops...hope you got a good deal cos i know when kgtn bought them , they were pricey!!! in saying that i AM AN APPLE CHICk....and love iphoto... and garageband.... they do DO their programmes OH SO WELL!!!

Kacey R. said...

I couldn't agree with you more. Its hard to find a balance and I am sure even when kids are older it continues to be a challenge.

I am sure the girls were so excited. What an awesome gift! I am sure they really appreciated those sassy MACs.

cat said...

Oh I agree - kids have to in some way earn what they get. There are exceptions, when they need things you can give, but we also decided that our principle will be the same.

auntiegwen said...

You're singing my song, I have all this going on at the mo as EBD is applying to uni, estimated cost for a 4 year degree including her living cost is £34 thousand pounds,

and I cannot possibly fund all of that.

Gorgeous haircut miss 20 has

Cairo Typ0 said...

I agree to a point with you. My BIL has mooched off his family for far too long because they keep saying yes. He has a job, a wife, and kids, and he's still lives with a family member in their basement. Huh?! (He won't his us up for money because he knows what Hubby would say.)

Puna said...

How great! And how fun! We have both PCs and Macs in our home by the way...

Emily said...

What a fun present!! I can sympathize w/ your hubby...I want to teach my kids those things too but it's already hard!

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

Oh how very nice of you to given them the macbooks!
We make our kids work round here, they hate it but they will thank us one day. We don't charge them, but they are required to do chores daily and the "pay" they get is a place to live, food and for the oldest the use of our car (he can't yet drive alone..... and he will have to figure out how to put gas in it once he can)
Apple does seem to work it's way in..... we have 3 ipods and one dying ibook.

Krista ... said...

thanks for stopping by my blog! :) it's always fun to make new friends isn't it?!

and yes, it was so fun to meet Pioneer Woman. I actually don't work for the TV station, I just know the producers who do and they needed help the morning she was coming in so they called me. i actually worked in pr and am now self-employed. so ... it was a super fun morning.

feel free to stop by my Haystack anytime. i'll certainly be coming by here often to see what you're up to.

p.s. your girls are darling. :)

Momisodes said...

Oooh MacBooks! Very exciting!!!

It's amazing how quickly Mac products can reproduce once you have one.

BlogBaby said...

Mmmmm....Macbooks...yummy!

The girls will do well with those for years to come!

I don't blame Mr. Scrappy for his soft side, after all there is always something special between a daddy and his girls. I should know! ;)

BlogBaby

P.S. Thanks for stopping by for my SITS day I truly appreciate it!

Chris said...

Daddies and daughters -- that's a magical combination (and the girls know it!)

Barbara Manatee said...

My siblings and I were raised the same way. My parents helped cover my first year of college (after scholarships, loans, etc) and then the other 4 years were all mine! lol! They would help if I was in a bind, but I worked HARD to get through school, working 3 jobs and keeping my grades up, too. I appreciate it for sure...

DaBudges said...

I agree with you about making your kids earn things. Too many children nowadays just expect things to be given to them, and, as a result, there are way too many selfish and ungrateful people. I even make my two year old earn the things he wants. Of course, for now, he is happy with a small car or ball, and I am NOT looking forward to the days when he starts earning laptop computers... :S Your daughters are beautiful and seem to have great personalities. Thanks for sharing!

Marie said...

I want to be Mr. Softie's daughter. :)

MARGARITA BLOOM said...

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest! LOL...I'd have to agree with Angela up there...I'm a geek all the way...bring on the gadgets!!! I love me a new laptop. :) Whoo...

Tiaras said...

I do believe this will be my house soon enough. And I am so with you, it is so (SO VERY) hard not to buy my children whatever they want. My father was FRUGAL - more than FRUGAL - but Lord did he save for a rainy day! I too had to pay rent to my parents (I have to tell you - you are the only other person I have heard had to do this-I was so humiliated by it then). BUT, like you, sort of understand. BUT, I still think the money would have been better off in my college fund instead of my parent's wallets.

egt said...

Fun! I loved looking through the pictures, and even was pretending I was getting a Mac as well...sigh...someday....just stopping in from SITS, saw you were number 1 today! Have a great day!

Fruitful Vine2 said...

That's awesome that you're teaching your children values like that especially in an age when almost everyone is doing the opposite.

Can I ask a question? How early did you start them working for the things they would receive? And what kind of work did they start out doing?

I came over via SITS. Enjoy your day.

barefacedapproach said...

When I graduated, I received my first Mac too!!! A very wise choice :) My parents were very similar to you and Mr. Scrappy and they taught us the value of hard work. I got paid to go to school at one point too. Boy have things changed. Now I have a 3 year old and have to refrain from buying her everything under the sun. Good luck to your girls!!!!

Stopping by from SITS!

Eva Gallant said...

I had to pay my own way through college through working and earning scholarships. I agree, kids need to learn to shoulder the load and be responsible for themselves.

Just stopped in from SITS to say hi; hope you'll do the same.

Project Survive said...

thanks for stopping by my blog!!

gotta LOVE new computers... especially Macs. =)

http://www.projecticansurvive.blogspot.com

Teri said...

I absolutely agree with you. Kids need to learn to be responsible with money and keep a eye on expenses. Sure, we treat them here and there, but for the most part, they save to buy their special things. It's good for them.

MeCassieMarie said...

I bet they are loving it! Once you go Mac you don't go back.

I'm the oldest child in my family. Summer 2008, before I entered college, I decided I needed a laptop. My parents said I could get whatever I wanted so long as I earned it. I worked at Wal-mart all summer, saved up and paid for it in full. This Macbook is worth every hour of it!

Muthering Heights said...

They look absolutely delighted!!

Alix said...

Hi Sue!

Just popped over from Casa Hice for a visit and to thank you for leaving such a nice comment the other day. One good turn deserves another...

I LOVE this post! And I agree with everything you said about how blasted hard it is to hold back on the showering of wealth on our kids. I too, grew up fending for myself financially - and while I remember not entirely loving it back then, I see how it helped make me self sufficient and not shell-shocked when I was finally on my own.

The MacBooks were a fabulous idea though! And very necessary for college aged kids. And by the way... your daughters are just so incredibly lovely! I can tell just by looking at them that they appreciate the laptops {tools!} you gave them and are quite thrilled and excited. Good for you! I like your style!

XO ~ Alix

Nicole said...

I am totally on board with making our children work for what they have in life. I also agree is SO hard not to get them all the things they want because we do have the means to do so for the most part (we're currently only buying barbie dolls and dress up clothes....when the Macs and iPod wishes come, we'll see!) I had to work for everything, obtain school loans, make my own car payments and rent payments etc...it definitely is character building and made me a more responsible person to endure some of those poor college kid hardships. But, I don't feel I was cheated in any way and I lived happily with less. :0)
Thanks for popping over to my blog earlier today! I enjoyed your experienced perspective on balance. I do think an equal balance may very well be elusive, but I have hope to still enjoy some of the pleasures of my youth, prior to having children occasionally. And if it simply means a martini or glass of wine at home with friends vs. out on the town, well, I'm comfortable with that sacrifice, because my babies - all three of them are SO worth it! :0)

JOh said...

Hey that haircut is fantastic! She is completely gorgeous!
LOL re Apple comments... when I told you we had Macs not long after we first met, you said you didn't know people still used them....you didn't know how totally cool we were!! We've had Macs since 1996! I know!! Rad!!! lol