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Wellington, New Zealand
welcome to my corner of the blog world! i love step, boxing, zumba, scrapbooking, photography, watching movies, walking the hills of my suburb, my family, and life in wellington. take some time to have a look around and be sure to say hi!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

who's the scariest mummy of them all?

Mummy or mommy, this has got to be one of the most inspired ideas since sliced bread.

I mean, think about it. We spend soooooooo much of our time as mothers trying to make everyone around us think we’re doing ok, that we love motherhood and everything that goes with it ALL THE TIME; that we don’t compare ourselves unfavourably to other mothers (who, incidentally feel exactly the same way as we do but are too afraid to admit it!); that it’s ok to not take time for ourselves….the list could (and invariably) does go on.

So here’s the skinny (oh yeah, let’s talk about baby weight too while we’re at it!) from a 20-year ‘veteran’ mother of 4.

My email address used to be supermum at cybergal dot com. They were these free and very cool domain names back in the early ‘noughts’. When they were phased out, no-one was more relieved than me. Had I given myself that email address? What was I thinking?

I might have been on top of things with two children (that I had in my 20’s), but I discovered that having kids in your 30s (when you already HAVE two kids), is much harder. The old ‘bod’ ain’t what it used to be. Bits have slipped – nay, fallen off; years of sleep deprivation have taken their toll, and of course every mother knows that you give birth to least one million brain cells with every baby, so there really is no hope for me!

Standards started to slip. Permanent day-time sleepwear became vogue, hair didn’t get washed for several weeks on end, bed-times stretched, showers weren’t had, too much tv was watched, the nutritional value of some meals was highly debatable, children were late being dropped off and picked up from activities; and in some cases, not picked up at all! (It was ONE TIME OK! - and have I ever been allowed to forget it!?!)

Well, that’s not entirely true. There was that one time when I first became a mother. I walked out the door of a new parents’ morning tea, leaving my newborn on the kitchen table. (I remembered when I got to the car, ok?) Oh, and that other time when I left my [4th] baby at a family wedding (but she was with family, so that’s ok right??)

With falling standards came fallen expectations, and with fallen expectations came the knowledge that no-one is perfect, that kids are resilient and can deal with some fairly incompetent parenting from time to time, and [to quote richard carlson], i learned to not sweat the small stuff.

Tired, hungry or cranky; scary or not - I’m proud to be a mum.

go see jill over at scary mommy

and read all the fabulous 'scary' stories!

(i don't know what happened with the link there
i blame my well worn baby brain!)


Mayhem and Moxie said...

I don't know which I like better, Sue. This post or your Wordful Wednesday. It is definitely a toss up.

If I really had to pick, though, I would probably go with the Scary Mommy post. Your words rang very true for me!


Jaina said...

I'm not even married yet...hoping I learn from everyone else when it comes to kids! :)

Tammy Howard said...

I am really enjoying everyone's scary mom posts. Because you're right - we all make mistakes and we all feel insecure and it's so nice to be reminded that we're not alone sometimes.

Peaches said...

Loved your post!! Thanks for stopping by.

AquarianJwl said...

Wow. I am so glad I stopped by. I can totally relate to what you say, having 4 of my own. Everyone asks me if I am having more, and why I am not. My usual response is that having babies in your 30's is so much harder than having them in your 20's. I can't believe how easy it was then... I am glad to hear that it's not uncommon to be too tired to be competent LOL. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog.

auntiegwen said...

hello, I believe you have been living my life ! x

Helen McGinn said...

Oh, I've had my moments too. Starting to put make up on one day and being distracted by the babies....heading out to a mum thing and wondering why everyone was looking at me funny with one eye made up and the other one bare. That's the one I CAN tell you about...*L*

Stopped by from SITS. Is that....FRENCH martini's I see you pouring at the top right of your blog??

Teri said...

Thank you for sharing this right in the middle of yet another day of "I am a horrible mom." Yes, I can do this for another 24 hours. Yes, yes, yes.


Scary Mommy said...

Not sweating the small stuff is the only way to survive motherhood!! And I'm so glad I started early-- I feel like I could never have babies in 10 years. Ugh!

Reluctant Housewife said...

I asked my kids today, "Guess what I love?"

They said, "What?"

I said, "You guys!"

and Buddy said, "Oh. I already knew that!"

And that's all I could ask for - that they already know they're love.

Did that sound corny?

Oh well... it's still true.

Brittany at Mommy Words said...

Great post - all scary normal mommy problems eh. It's hard to always remember the actual baby once you have gotten all the stuff you need for them out the door! I am with you! Fellow scary mommy, SITSA and now a follower.

San said...

Love your post! ;) 4 kids? U are a supermom in my books!!