i'm not here today

i'm here

the lovely angie over @ seven clown circus asked me to guest post, but if you're all clicked out, i'll save you the trouble...



WEDNESDAYS WITH KEN

when angie asked if i wanted write a guest post, i knew exactly what i would write about.

in a way angie inspired this post

but then again maybe it was fear

cancer,  definitely

...and friendship too

angie wrote this post back in february of this year.  she had run into a friend she had known growing up who was dying of cancer, but didnt say anything when she saw her.  angie was deeply upset by the way she handled the situation, so went home and wrote her friend a letter.

at the time, i felt like that post from angie was written just for me.

this is ken

two days after i took this photo, ken died.  it may well have been the last photo of him.  i don't know.  all i know is that i'm glad i have it.

he had been sick for a while, but almost a month before this photo was taken (to the day), ken was given one month to live.  when i found out, i was literally paralyzed with fear.  i wanted to do something, but what?

i couldn't pick up the phone (too intrusive)  i couldn't email (too impersonal).  so i wrote him a letter.

i wrote of all the things about him that make me smile.  i said that my letter was his invitation to call me, because i simply didn't know what to do (or how to do it).

the next day he called.  he said he was so very touched by my letter and that he wanted me to come visit.

during his treatment he had developed a sweet tooth, with a penchant for anything lime and peppermint - so on wednesdays while my girls were at their singing lessons, i visited.

the first week i came with peppermint slice.

the next week i brought lime mousse

the following week i brought lime jelly.  he never ate that jelly, but i did get this pic.  that's the tip of his thumb you can see at the bottom of the shot giving the thumbs up.

during his funeral i discovered that as well as being a pioneer in software sales back in the 80s (ie, he was ahead of his time), he was also an amateur boxer, had his helicopter pilot's licence, and was an equestrian 3-day eventer.

all this in addition to being an all-round funny guy, great friend and loving husband and father to his 2 daughters, who at 18 and 20 are now without their father.

my first thought when i think about the girls, is that he won't be able to walk them down the aisle, but it's not just the big occasions where he will be missed.

he will simply be missed.

those weekly visits meant more to me than he will ever know, and i'm so glad i overcame my fear and did something.  i had angie and her friend guiding me.  i had my friend bernice in my ear too.  a relative of hers had once said (regarding the same situation) - "whatever you do, just don't put it off".

wise words indeed.