some days being the grown up really sucks

whoever said a week is a long time in politics, obviously didn't have kids; because a rough week in parenting can seem like a LIFETIME.

miss 20 left home yesterday.

6 days ago, it was looking like it might be the longest 6 days of my life.

i'd left the house for a walk after a fight with miss 20, and found myself freezing my butt off beside a local stream, wailing down the phone to my best friend, trying to make sense of one of my worst days as a parent.

miss 20 had found a flat and was moving out, but it had been and was getting ugly, and i was struggling to make sense of it all, and wondering how on earth i'd get through the next week.

my best friend's daughter is 3 years older than mine, so through the years she's been my 'advance party', taking the hits and gaining invaluable experience which she's always been happy to share.

before writing this post, i thought about how much i wanted to 'share'...

.....but i NEED to know that i'm not alone

.....i NEED to know that you can feel bad and get better;

.....and i WANT to share so that someone reading this will maybe take something from it and find it useful.

a 30 minute conversation with my best friend was cheering, helpful, insightful and even managed to contain a few laughs.

"it's not like in the movies where you carry the cardboard box to the car and then embrace.  there's no fairytale".

"i never thought it would be like that" i replied.

"someone [either one of you] has to feel like crap.  that's just the way it is".

"but why?  why can't it be somewhere in the middle?"

"it just isn't", she said.

WELL THAT SUCKS.

a week earlier, over a roast dinner, our neighbour (whose daughters have left home, boomeranged  back (twice), then married) said the nicest thing anyone could have said to me.

"all children become FERAL just before they leave home.   it's nature's way of making it easier to let them go."

...and i think he might just be right.

so here's what i have learned:

at 17, when your daughter starts bringing home the BEST academic results of her 13 years at school; then carries on to bring home straight As in her first and second years at university (college) - do NOT give her a free pass on household chores.

this, combined with a SAHM (me), her GEN-Y attitude and a generally lazy disposition when it comes to helping out around the place, WILL create the proverbial monster.

there's no hope for me, BUT SAVE YOURSELVES!!!

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